A question to the expert: “How to live with a person who does not want to share me with anyone?”

To be the only one – whether millions dream about that? But those who are “lucky” believe that this is not so simple.

“I love the ideal man, but he cannot stand it when I meet someone else, whether relatives or friends. “

Fortunate463, 25 years old

Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychotherapist:

“The relations in which one of the partners claims to be all the time and the attention of the other, as if trying to completely“ absorb ”it, the prospects of the unimportant. Of course, there are a huge temptation in this type of relationship: there are so many complaints about male indifference, selfishness, treason around, and they love me so much! But you are alarmed and you definitely feel: something is wrong. Your friend wants to be with you all the time, as if it does not need any more or nothing – and by default requires (or will demand soon), so that you do not need any more and no longer need anything. So a painful story may begin – an attempt to appropriate another person, “strangle in your arms”, and with his consent – love! Further, as a rule, the following happens: panting in isolation, the second participant is trying to conquer or beg at least some personal space and time, makes some sharp movement (this can be a proposal to part or find work with frequent trips). The sanctions are different – heavy scenes, threats, promises to change! Since the attachment is formed and the second partner believes that he cannot live without these relations, he returns – and it all starts again. Moreover, on every next round, everything is darker and more hopeless. Of course, both suffer. Accusations and resentment are accumulating

, you will not understand who “has broken life” to whom. Such a gloomy story. In your case, it is just beginning and other scenarios are still possible. It is clear that “two are needed for tango”, and it is important to understand how you yourself involuntarily play along with him (although it probably seems that this is not so). The most important thing for you is not to get bogged down in a trap of co -dependent relationships, which are so often mistaken for love. “.